A letter to the Haus…

this month, I decided to pass the keyboard to nectar’s new community manager, hazel, to do a self introduction. this is a unique position, usually found on digital platforms/social tech spaces. i wanted to be intentional about how our community expands because i’ll be honest…we’re not for everyone (hell, i’m not for everyone). giving this person a title that reflects the work and effort they’ll contribute to this space is important to me. -jaylah

An Introduction to Hazel. From Passion to Purpose

Growing up, I’ve always loved to sing and dance. I wasn’t really a shy girl. Any chance I got where I was surrounded by people or wherever there was a stage or open space, I’d ask my grandma or my mom if I could go out there and do my thing. Just putting on a whole ass performance. I remember the first time I ever sang in front of an audience was at 5 yrs old for a graduation party, and I sang “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, and then by age 7 I sang and danced to “Oops, I Did it Again” by Britney Spears. It was then they decided to want to take my passion a step further.

I started taking voice and piano lessons, but wondered why I wasn’t signed up for dance classes? The answer to that question (according to my family) was because we didn’t have enough money for me to attend all three, which, in hindsight might be true. But I also knew that it was because I was a bigger girl, and they didn’t want me to get made fun of. But I loved to dance, and it bummed me out that I couldn’t take any classes. Instead, I’d attend every single dance recital put on by the local dance studio or every single dance concert put on by the Kodiak High School Dance Team, have my grandma buy the VHS tape recordings of the shows, and I would mimic the movement in my living room almost daily. That is how I genuinely learned how to dance. It was all just by watching.

By the time I was in high school, I was like, “This is it! This is my opportunity to audition for the dance team!”, and I was faced with a whole bunch of dance skills & terminology I didn’t know. I was asked to do grand jetés and pirouettes, and when I first attempted a pirouette I mistook that for a fouetté and did that instead (what I actually did was way more advanced than I thought.. my bad lol). Another part of our audition was to do the splits which I DEFINITELY didn’t have the flexibility to do (or so I thought). We were also asked to learn two routines - one kick and one camp dance routine (generally precision hip hop). I’ll never forget how I felt that first day: excited, but overwhelmed because I didn’t have the technical skills most of the other dancers had. During the first two days, I took all of what I learned home and practiced on my own.. hard. By the third day, and after the final audition, to my surprise, I made the team, even as the bigger girl.

However, just because I made the team, doesn’t mean I was in all the dances. This shit was way harder than I expected. All I knew was hip hop, and whatever I learned from all those videos. “Oh, so that’s the proper name for this turn. And this leap. How the hell do you do that jump?!” I wasn’t a technically trained dancer. I didn’t start taking dance classes at 4 or 5 years old like these other girls did. Our dance team still held auditions for certain routines to ensure the choreography was polished, performance ready, and clean enough to be showcased on the floor or on stage. I didn’t make any of these dances unless the whole team was required to be in it, or if it was a hip hop routine. I felt extremely discouraged and sad, but still put on the best performance I could for the dances I was in. I told myself the following year that I wasn’t going to audition to be on the team, but there was something in my gut that said “don’t give up, work harder.” And that I did. The entire summer up until auditions, I worked so hard on all those skills in my backyard, to the point where I had a difficult time sitting on the toilet. I attended dance camps and workshops to continue working on those advanced skills. Not only did I make the team my second year, I made every single dance. During my third year on the team, I became

Officer. And during my fourth and final year on the team, I became Co-Captain. I probably would’ve taken the opportunity of being Captain if I didn’t take on other extra curricular activities outside of the team (community and school choir, musical theatre productions, managing the break dance club.. SCHOOL)… clearly this is where my knack for keeping busy with all the things that I love to do began. My passion for dance continued to grow and become stronger each year. I never once saw myself teaching it, but then here I go straight out of high school starting to sub for classes at our local studio.

I never stopped dancing. Over time, I became even more involved in my community through the art of movement and performance. What started as a personal passion grew into something so much bigger than myself. I began working not only with children and teens, but with adults as well, whether that be choreographing for college groups, musical theatre productions, and then becoming a certified instructor in Zumba and Goddess Yoga. On top of all of that, I also became a burlesque performer, which then led me into hosting masterclasses and workshops in my hometown, and seeing those spaces grow and resonate with people (specifically women) changed me deeply.

What I once viewed as simply dance and choreography evolved into something much more meaningful. My work slowly became rooted in self love, self expression, empowerment, and confidence. I realized there were endless ways to connect with people through movement, not just artistically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Creating safe spaces for the community to just… move the way your body is telling you to. The way YOU want to.

Dance has given me freedom in ways I don’t think I’ll ever fully be able to explain. It has carried me through some of the darkest moments of my life and continuously reminded me who I am underneath all the noise. No matter what I looked like, no matter what size I was, dance never judged me, it simply allowed me to exist fully as myself. More than anything, dance has been therapy for me. It has healed me, grounded me, challenged me, and ultimately shaped the person I am today. If I had quit after my first year on the team, none of this would’ve happened. This is also a gentle reminder to anyone out there who is reading this to trust your gut.

Which then lead me into this:

If there was one thing that was always on my vision board, and something that I always talked about when asked “where do you see yourself in 5-10 years”, I always said, “I’ve always wanted to own my own dance studio”.

And this opportunity given to me is just the beginning and the stepping stone into my own future.

I’ve always been the type of person to want to help when I can, especially when it’s something that I’m not only passionate about, but something that I know will make a positive impact in the community. When Jaylah reached out to me during the re-branding and re-birth period of Nectar about teaching classes at the studio, I was a little apprehensive, because I told myself that I wanted to take a break from teaching and just be the student. Apparently, I don’t know how to do that. And of course, I said yes, (even though I was scared shitless for whatever reason). With

the love and extreme amount of support of some of my favorite people in my life, my own marketing skills, my knack for community engagement, these classes took off incredibly, and I was reminded why I loved teaching, why I loved dancing, and that this was where I was meant to be.

In the midst of that, again, Jaylah approaches me with a new proposal, which is to take on the role of Community Manager of Nectar Movement Haus. After a few hours of contemplation of needing to add more things to my already packed schedule, of course I said yes because I’m honestly borderline insane.

Sometimes I forget what I’m capable of, and Jaylah seemed to know exactly what to say to remind me. I think it helps that we share the same kind of brain: equally busy, equally chaotic, and somehow always finding a way to pile even more onto our schedules anyway. But I am grateful for people like her who see your potential even when you temporarily lose sight of it yourself.

My name is Hazel Delos Santos, Hip Hop, Chair Flow, and Goddess Yoga instructor AND newly named Community Manager at Nectar Movement Haus. I am so excited for this new chapter and to take on this role with Nectar Movement Haus and to help this space continue to blossom and thrive.